


My R(easons)

by CorruptedPurrcy



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 00:25:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18377159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorruptedPurrcy/pseuds/CorruptedPurrcy
Summary: The girl looked at him, tilting her head. Her transparent brown hair flowing slightly in the air. “Were they good enough?”He laughed a painful laugh - his once glowing dark eyes now shimmering with regret and freeness.“No, they weren't.”





	My R(easons)

**Author's Note:**

> Long, and fast-paced(?)

“Just as I was about to take my shoes off  
On the rooftop there I see  
A girl with braided hair here before me  
Despite myself, I go and scream  
Hey, don’t do it please!”

\--------

 

It was like drowning yet breathing. Like dying yet still living. 

That was love.

He found it hard that someone loved it. Found it hard to accept that someone cared for him. Found it comforting that he was worth something to someone. 

He found a cure to his dull life, found a new start. 

But, as always, it wasn't meant to be.

His depressing thoughts clouded their relationship, making it toxic. His constant worries and his constant self-harming tendencies made it hard for both of them. 

His lover had gotten sick and tired, breaking it up one day after a bad fight and left. 

His self-scars increased, and at some point he couldn't keep living with the constant regret. 

Looking back at it many years later, he could only frown and look away.

It should've never been the last straw. 

\--------

“Just as I took both of my shoes off  
There was but a girl short as can be  
Despite myself I go and scream.”

\--------

It was bittersweet.   
Like a rose with thorns. 

A fallen friendship.

When he was younger, he had been more confident - more stronger and outgoing. He could fit into a group without worries.

Until he meet them. 

At first, they had been sweet to him, including him in everything. They had been kind and compassionate. And for once in his life, he was more than okay with getting attached. 

Until they changed.

Gone were the people he knew. Gone were the memories they created. Gone was everything they had been. 

It was replaced by empty shells. Replaced by cold eyes and icy tones. People who used him as a stepping stone. 

And suddenly, the boy he was - was gone. Leaving a shadow, a more warry, more painful shadow. 

Looking back at it - he sighed at his stupidity.

Making himself dwell in blame was never how it should have gone.

\--------

“Cause even so, you're still loved by everyone at home!  
There's always food waiting at the table you know!”

\--------

Anyone can be a parent. But it takes more to be a family.   
It doesn't make sense.

That was a toxic family.

Hit after hit after hit after hit. 

Then praise after praise after praise after praise. 

That was life in his home. 

It always depended on the mood.

He cried on the nights when hits and insults were thrown and was wary when everything was normal. 

He hated every second of it. 

It was brief - only there for a few years. It was there until it wasn't - the day after he ran away. 

But, the scars were already in place. And they had settled too close to his heart.

\--------

“And yet there was no one who would do this for me -”

\--------

He went on with his life after broken friendships and abusive families. 

Yet, everything was a haze. Blurry and lifeless. 

Everything wasn't okay and he broke with each passing day.

He made new friends, left others. Saved money, wasted money. Eat, worked, slept - dragged into drama and ignored for others.

But it was - at the end of the day - a haze. Without interest and without life. Colorless. 

\--------

“Having done this time and time again, she wore a yellow cardigan…”

\--------

The city was always busy - even at night. Looking out from the roof he marveled the city lights and the stars above.

He rested his head on the palm of his hand, looking down upon the cars and scattered humans.

‘They all followed each other like sheep.’ He thought. 'Ignorant and arrogant to everything but themselves. Yet they all live and die - one never different from the next.’

How long has it been since he pondered about life and its faults?

\--------

“I just wanna stop the scars that grow-”

\--------

He traced over his wrist and arm, feeling the bumps of the old yet new scars. 

How long has it been since he stood in one of the many roofs of this city? Looking down at everyone from the throne of shame?

He sighed softly, feeling like he's been drowned then revived - with missing and broken pieces. He rubbed his hand over his face - feeling lost and confused.

He wanted everything to stop. The constant whining from his friends, the constant 'joke’ insults, the constant worrying and the constant overprotectiveness. 

Every since his friends - loyal, new friends - found out about his depression, they've been all over him. Unaware of how much worse they've been making it. 

It was washing him away to the river of guilt and sadness. 

He wanted everything to stop.

And so he made it all stop. 

\--------

“ - I can't stop this girl! Oh this is new.. But even so! Please just got away…”

\--------

He felt floaty. 

Alive and dead.

And everything in between. 

\--------

“This petite girl, short as can be.   
Is gonna jump now..  
And be free.”

\--------  
And blood drips down like it was always meant to be.

 

The girl looked at him, tilting her head. Her transparent brown hair flowing slightly in the air. “Were they good enough?”

He laughed a painful laugh - his once glowing dark eyes now shimmering with regret and freeness. 

“No, they weren't.”

He turned back towards the crowd. 

 

Where all his friends dropped flowers, throwing painful smiles at his grave.


End file.
